Developing Rational Beliefs

As mentioned in the previous post, we will have to start with unconditional acceptance. Post which we progress to developing rational beliefs. The first step in the process would be the identification of the irrational belief. It is followed by disputing (D) the irrational belief and coming up with an effective new philosophy (or rational belief). 

Identification of irrational beliefs

To identify irrational beliefs, look for the following:

• Demands (musts/absolute shoulds/oughts) 
• Frustration Intolerance (I can't stand it/Unbearable)
• Awfulizing (It's awful/terrible/horrible)
• Self-Downing, Other-Downing, or Life-Downing (I'm bad or worthless, He/she is bad or worthless, or Life is not worthwhile)

Disputing the irrational belief

The next step would be to dispute such beliefs with the below questions:

• Where is holding this belief getting me? Is it helpful or getting me into trouble?
• Where is the evidence to support my irrational belief?
• Is it really awful (as bad as it could be)?
• Can I really not stand it?
• Am I really a totally bad person?
• Is it logical? Does it follow from my preferences?

Effective new philosophy

The final step is to come up with rational beliefs through the following: 

• Having flexible preferences (e.g. I want to do well, but I don't have to so.)
• Anti-awfulizing (e.g. It may be bad or unfortunate, but it not awful, and I can still enjoy some things.)
• Increased frustration tolerance (e.g. I don't like it, but I can stand it, and can still enjoy many things.)

Now let's look into few examples.

Example 1

I must ensure that my deliverables have high quality and receive appreciation for the work. Else I am not fit for this job.

Identification of irrational belief 

     I must ensure that my deliverables have high quality and receive appreciation for the work. Else I am not fit for this job.

Disputing the irrational belief

     Where is the evidence that I must receive appreciation for the work?    

     Am I really not fit for this job?

Effective New Philosophy

    I wish to produce high quality deliverables and also receive some appreciation for it. 

Example 2

I must not lose my job under any circumstance. That would be unbearable and I won't be able to stand it.

Identification of irrational belief 

     I must not lose my job under any circumstance. That would be unbearable and I won't be able to stand it.

Disputing the irrational belief

     Is it logical to expect not to lose my job under any circumstance?

     Can I really not stand it?

     Is my demand helping me in any way?

Effective New Philosophy

    I wish to have my job. Losing it may be a difficult situation to be in but I can stand it.

Developing such effective new philosophies would help us in creating healthy negative emotions. We can then utilize self-help content or professional help to achieve our goals or expected outcomes.

Note - In case you continue to have unhealthy negative emotions, there might be a need for professional help.